Digital Infidelity

Focus on the Family published an article that dives into the link between the modern social media world and the unfiltered, hyper access for married people to cross emotional and soon physical lines in their marriages. It reads, “Licensed marriage and family therapist George James, president of communication group George Talks, adds that people often use the virtual aspect of social networking and digital communication as justification for starting these relationships. That’s reason to take caution, James says, because this blend of physical separation and instant connectivity enables people to disconnect from everyday life and engage with another human being.
"The screen feels like a boundary," he says, "where people can feel like they are not doing anything wrong because the person is not there with them."
K. Jason and Kelli Krafsky, joint authors of Facebook and Your Marriage, warn about how quickly former emotions can reignite online. "With access to an old flame’s profile, contact info, pictures and private ways to communicate with one another, a brief trip down memory lane can turn into camping out, reminiscing over memories and rebuilding the emotional bonds that once existed," the Krafskys say.
Ephesians 5:15 commends, “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise,” The kind of interactions, posting, and viewing on social media has opened up the devil’s attacks towards men and women alike. Circumspectly is not how I’d define most of what we see online. Many view their interactions through their screen often as harmless because conversations and interactions are not in person but behind a screen. Lying in bed liking pictures of someone that isn’t your spouse, being alone late into the night texting the opposite gender and secretly messaging those that aren’t your spouse are just a few examples of the dynamite that many play with in the social media world.
PRECAUTIONS
Most of the dangers and temptations that come from inappropriate social media use could be greatly avoided with simple precautions that Christians can and should take.
1. Do not message the opposite gender in secret.
Teens should absolutely not be messaging the opposite gender. Married people should not be messaging those that aren’t their spouse of the opposite gender in secret. Rather to be overboard in this area than to be vulnerable to temptation or even slander. Group messaging is not difficult. My wife and I include each other in messages with other people all the time. I’ll either text a husband and wife together or I’ll message someone with my wife in the message. I have never found anyone to be offended by this, and it is an easy and obvious option to keeping communication above board in the comfort of your own office, vehicle, home, or bed with someone that you need to be on guard with.
2. Consider not following those of the opposite gender.
I didn’t get social media really until after I was married. Like most people, I started to follow pretty much anybody and everybody I knew that would accept my “friend request”. That quickly changed. I know not all platforms are the same, but most platforms provide some way to post pictures. I remember opening my phone one morning and seeing some woman posting her new hair style or outfit or whatever it was, and I felt wrong (it wasn’t even that it was an inappropriate picture). It felt like that woman sent a selfie of herself to my phone for my viewing. I made a decision that day that I would not follow women that were not family. The only exception that I’ve made to this would be some political or new individuals (these cases are rare or more about following an organization, not an individual).
POTENTIALS
There are potential dangers that one should be aware of when it comes to messaging the opposite gender:
1. You can be accused for what you cannot deny.
The quality of being blameless is a wise route for someone that wants to be clear of the #metoo headlines. While many ungodly people have been revealed for the hypocrites and evil people they are, I also believe many have been slandered in ways that are almost irreparable because they were accused for something they could not deny. Guardrails not only keep you safe from falling into temptation, but they also keep you safe from slander. My wife is included in this as well. She won’t have to worry about my eyes and my communications if these guardrails are put in place.
2. You can be opened to what you cannot resist.
Sober and vigilant are the terms that God uses when He tells us about the roaring lion that is the devil that is out to destroy our lives. A burglar doesn’t need every door and every window open to get into your home, and Satan doesn’t need every area of your life open as well. He just needs one weak point of entry. The flesh is weak, and you need to come to grips with what your flesh can be capable of.
Be wiser than those who scoff and defend, “You’re reading into this too much. It’s just a friend. I would never…” I’m sure those that ended their marriages in ruin thought and said the same thing at times. Your purity and the integrity of your name are worth the extra precautionary steps to put yourself on guard in the area against digital infidelity.









